Have you ever found yourself in a place
where you are so lost you have no idea which way to turn, what to say, what to
do, or even what to think? Or have you ever felt that you were simply so
amazingly inadequate, or that you could or would never measure up to what it
seems you are expected to do, or that you are so out of depth that sinking and drowning
seems merciful? I have felt that way many times since coming to Gambela. Lord,
are you sure You have the right couple?
We recently walked through a fairly long,
underground tunnel without any light whatsoever…it was pitch dark and, as such,
a very disorientating experience…a good illustration of how we often feel here.
And yet, even in the darkest of times, we have
always sensed the loving, gentle Presence of our Father – never chiding or
condemning or guilt tripping, but rather understanding, encouraging, patient,
and comforting. We have, of course, stayed put these past two years and have
seen the Lord supply our every need from His vast treasure trove of spiritual,
physical, mental, emotional, and financial resources.
But both Louise and I also grew up with the
Southern African idiom, “a farmer always makes a plan”, so our tendency has
been to look for a positive plan rather than to immediately roll over and give
up…sometimes naïvely so, but the Lord did say we needed to have faith like a
little child, right? And He has never let us down…never…
And so we have managed to face every
difficulty with weak, but firm faith in the conviction that as God has called
us, He will get us through whatever it was we were facing at the time…whether
it was the all out slaughtering of people all around us, or the flooding of the
compound, or wondering whether we will have enough scholarships for the
students, or, most recently, trying to keep the College going with only two
full-time faculty members!
But, as many of you know, placing one foot
in front of the other and moving forward is easier when one is sure you are
holding the Lord’s hand as He leads you on…or, more often than not, when He is
holding you…all of you…and carrying you through!
This month has been a month filled with
many varied blessings. We first spent a wonderful time with our family in the
northern parts of Ethiopia. This was a very informative trip on many levels as
it gave us such insight into the history of this amazing country and the faith
of its people. But it was also a wonderful time of fellowship with our family
and a restful time for Louise and myself. We really miss Mike and Marianne very
much.
We returned to Gambela a day before a
security specialist friend of ours came to check out our compound to help us,
or more specifically, Rosemary, compile a security report for our Diocese. Of
course the obvious things were mentioned again, the need for a wall, for
instance, but he also saw a lot of things we did not see and we are very
grateful to him for his time and effort.
Then, our dear friends from Greenville,
South Carolina, James and Julie arrived. We have been planning this trip for
years now, ever since we first talked about us coming here. They have a very
special prayer ministry in the US and have come specifically to pray with and
for us, our folks here, and over Gambela as a Region. This is the first time we
have ever had a team come over just to pray…and it has been such a wonderful
blessing for everyone involved. They have been overwhelmed by the immense need
here (they said they have been more busy here than they are at home with their
full-time jobs!), but their tender love and heart-felt compassion have been
very much appreciated by all.
They also brought wonderful gifts to
encourage us…beautiful, peaceful, praise music, DVD’s, and books. It has been
like Christmas…but also like Easter in a spiritual resurrection type way. We
have been lifted up and strengthened.
But I have told you this for a reason: This
morning, Julie pulled out one the books and told me to read the opening lines.
This is what I read:
“You
carry a profound and unfathomable call on your life, placed there by God Himself.
It is fresh and new and completely beyond your natural ability to accomplish –
God has called you to do something you cannot possibly do. You can meditate on
that call for the rest of your days, strategize it to no end, even try and
seize it; it doesn’t matter. Like reaching for the stars, God’s call is beyond
you. It is a gift God has given each one of His children. In fact, your
inability to accomplish it is exactly why He has selected you to carry that
call.” Cooke, Graham, Beholding and Becoming,
Brilliant Book House, California, 2004, 7.
Wow. That short paragraph was like the
voice of God speaking to me. A timely reminder, once again, that this is not
about me, my talents, gifts, or abilities, or even my strength or my faith. It
is all about Him and His grace and love and mercy and compassion. By calling us
to this ministry, God has ensured that the work and the glory is His, not ours
or anyone else’s. That’s the only way that this ministry will last…
I love Paul’s statement in 1 Corinthians. “God has chosen the foolish things of the
world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world
to put to shame the things that are mighty.” Foolish and weak…check, and
check. I also often remind myself that my weakness is His opportunity to
display His power and His love. Isn’t our God AWESOME?
After prayerful thought, the idea is still
to go ahead with the College as planned before we heard that we would be down
to two full-time lecturers. Our dear friend Frances will be coming to teach a
four-week long intensive English Grammar course to prospective students. We will
only be taking in 8 to 10 new students, so please pray for the Lord’s guidance
in the selection process.
Also, 10 new students means we will need 10
new scholarships/bursaries, so please pray that the Lord would raise up
supporters for these students. We need US$ 3,500 per student per year, which
includes tuition, books, materials, housing, food, travel costs, and per diems
for the Field Education weeks.
I have written to various friends and
institutions asking for possible self-supporting, part-time lecturers for the
remaining subjects. Pray again that our Lord will open the right doors at the
right time for the right people. We already have one taken care of! Praise God!
He is always a few steps ahead of us, isn’t He?
No, this is not easy…but it is not up to
me…in fact, it is, always has been, and always will be beyond me.
We love you and are truly grateful for all
your love in return. Thank you also for your on-going support in so many, many
ways. But thank you most of all for your prayers.
Johann and Louise
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