Costly Confessions

Jeremiah 23:1-6                      1 John 4:20-21                                John 21:15-19

Costly Confessions

On a Tuesday morning, on April 20, 1999, 17-year-old Cassie Bernall walked into Columbine High School, in Littleton, Colorado, a promising student. She was carried out later a Christian martyr. While she was reading her Bible in the Library, one of the shooters confronted her. “Do you believe in God?” he asked. Her reply was apparently loud enough for those hiding behind chairs and tables to hear clearly. “Yes,” she said, “I believe in God.” Before fatally shooting her, her murderer’s only comment was, “Why?”

But Cassie was not the only one that died for her faith that day. Rachel Scott was also gunned down after testifying to her belief in Jesus. Again, her testimony was offered without faltering. The deaths of these two young people echo the story of the persecuted church throughout the centuries, when a mere profession of faith could be a fatal statement. Rather than hide their faith or denounce the one who had given his life for theirs, these believers, like the Columbine martyrs, openly testified of their faith in Jesus and paid for their confession with their lives. 

Yet in stark contrast, the disciples deserted their Lord at the time of his arrest, one denied him and all the others doubted him because they were afraid that the Jewish authorities would hunt them down and murder them too. Sadly, they did not confess the good confession even for a period of time after the resurrection. And so, in this final appearance to his chosen instruments for global evangelism and disciple making, Jesus exposed the one thing that causes faint hearts and weak knees, namely a misplaced faith… faith that is centred on self or on something or someone other than our Lord. 

I do want to point out that this gracious confrontation between Jesus and his estranged disciple took place after they had shared a meal together. This intimate action clearly reveals the humble and loving nature of our Saviour. Although direct and persistent and piercing in his words, the painful process of correction and restoration was warm and gentle, not harsh or judgemental. Surely this is something we ought to strive to emulate when we confront others. In my experience, we usually tend to err in one of two ways. We either do not confront others, hoping that things will disappear or rectify themselves. Or we burst in with all guns blazing, proverbially speaking, of course. But the method of our master is to heal the bruised reed, not to snap it…to rekindle the smoking flax, not extinguish it.

There are so many things going on at the same time in this compact section of John’s Gospel, but I am going to walk us through only a few. 

The first thing to notice is that Jesus did not shun or shame Simon Peter. He welcomed him together with the other disciples. There was no singling out or preferential treatment of one or of other members of the group. If there was any awkwardness during the breakfast on the beach it was surely not from Jesus’ side. 

The second thing to notice is that Jesus used the “chazakah method”, the method we discussed last week, in reverse, cancelling the threefold negative denial of Peter with a threefold positive affirmation of Peter. “I don’t know Jesus” was replaced with “I am devoted to Jesus” three times and so the apparent permanence was undone, and Peter was reinstated, ready to receive his recommissioning.

The third thing to notice is a word often overlooked in Jesus’ first question. “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” Now, the word “these” could refer to the fishes…in other words, do you love me more than you love your vocation or your livelihood…or it could refer, as I believe it does, to the other disciples. Why? Because if you recall in Mark’s Gospel, chapter 14, right after the Last Supper, Jesus said to his disciples, “You will all fall away, for it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.’ But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” And then, do you remember what Peter said to him? “Even though they (the other disciples) all fall away, I will not.” And then when Jesus told him that he would deny him three times before the rooster crowed Simon Peter said emphatically, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” Of course the rest all agreed, but I want to emphasise Peter’s own emphasis. “Even though they all fall away, I will not.” “I will not deny you.”

Now, in the light of what we just read, when we read Jesus’ question again, perhaps we can understand why that little overlooked word is there. “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” What Jesus was addressing in this first question was a self-reliant approach to faith. Peter was certain that he was better than the other disciples…that he was stronger than the other disciples…that he was more devoted to Jesus than the other disciples.  What was lacking in Peter was a humble reliance or dependence on Jesus. Which is why we ought to think twice before judging others or of shunning them because we think we alone have the corner on the truth. A little humility goes a long way when it comes to matters of faith. We may think we are better than others…we may think that we know better than others…we may think that we are more devoted to Jesus than others…until Jesus draws us aside and asks us, “Do you love me more than these?”

This question is important because only those who have truly come to terms with their own human frailty can feed the lambs of Jesus. The Pharisaic spirit that thanks God that we are not like others is not the spirit of Jesus. Peter had to come to the place where he could truly and humbly say, but for the grace of God, there go I, before he could be recommissioned to be the man Jesus wanted him to be.

The fourth thing to notice is where Jesus was headed with these questions. Jesus did not just want to restore Peter as a disciple, but his goal was to reinstate him so that he might recommission him. “Feed my lambs,” Jesus said. Tend and feed my sheep. In other words, be a shepherd of my sheep…lead my children, teach my children…but lead and teach from a position of humility, not pride. It is interesting to note that when Jesus addressed the church in Ephesus in the book of the Revelation, he commended them for their works, their toil, their patient endurance, and their doctrinal purity, but he had one thing against them, that they had abandoned the love they had had at first. 

This sounds very similar to what Jesus was asking Peter, don’t you think? Do you love me? Love covers a multitude of sins and love for God is often seen and expressed through loving people. So, while we ought to correct falsehood, especially in the church, and while we ought never, ever to turn a blind eye to sin, our method of correction must be done in humility and in love. 

Shepherds must tend the flock…they must nourish the sheep…they must lead them to still waters and cause them to lie down in green pastures. As I said before, love for Jesus is most clearly seen in our love for his people. Peter’s success as a shepherd depended on his love for the Good Shepherd. As John said later in his first epistle, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and (yet) hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” So it is the depth of love that determines the depth of ministry.

Now, we need to remember always that ultimately, we are all members of the same flock regardless of denominational emphasis or difference. If we attack each other…if we break each other down…if we speak ill of one another…if we shun or judge each other, are we not perhaps doing the same to Jesus…to the one who is Shepherd of us all? 

But note that Peter did not quite get this until after the third question. John tells us that when Jesus asked the same question the third time, Peter was grieved. Now, when God persistently presses his finger on an area in our lives that needs some attention, being grieved is not a negative thing. To the contrary…being grieved is undoubtedly the realisation that God sees beyond our bold or not so bold exterior. And so Peter was grieved as he realised his arrogance and his unfounded faith in himself…in his own limited knowledge and his own limited strength.

But note Peter’s reply after the third question: “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” This is a far cry from the Peter that rebuked Jesus because he thought he knew better…this is a far cry from the Peter that thought he was better than all the other disciples. 

And finally, there is a humility that ought to be the hallmark of every shepherd of God’s sheep. “Lord, you know everything…you know that despite myself…despite my fumbling and bumbling and stumbling stupidity…you know deep down inside that I love you and that I need you and that I am submitted to you. 

There is nothing better than a piece of soft, warm, pliable clay in the hand of the master potter. And it is at this point that Peter was to be recommissioned. Notice then his tenderness in his first epistle chapter 5:2-4 “Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.” 

If Jesus could do that with Peter, then there is still hope for me.

But notice that Peter is recommissioned precisely because he humbly admitted his insufficiency. This is so contrary to our way of thinking. We think a leader must know it all…be a superman to do the work of Lord. But all Jesus asked for here was love. “Do you love me.” If we love Jesus…truly love him…we will love the flock too and want only the best for them.

The best kind of shepherd is one who has come to terms with his finiteness…his frailty, fallibility, humanity, brokenness, and weakness. 

But this shepherding would cost Peter dearly. Right after recommissioning him, Jesus revealed to him that there would come a day when he would be taken and martyred for that love he had just declared. Peter, a man who had denied his Lord to save his life, would lose his life for loving his Lord and loving his fellow sheep. As Paul once told Timothy, “All who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted”. 

And here is the final thing I want us to notice. There is no argument from Peter. He seems to have learned his lesson well and would not doubt his Lord’s words again. And it is at this point in his life that he was truly ready for true discipleship. Only at this point did Peter truly comprehend the cost of following Jesus, and he willingly accepted it. 

You see, true discipleship does not shy away from the cost involved in following Jesus. The rich young rule made that mistake and so have many believers down through the ages. Any inconvenience, no matter how slight, seems to be enough to send us scurrying back under our proverbial bushels. The martyr’s testimony is rarer than we care to acknowledge and, if we are honest, we would probably admit to being more like the pre-breakfast-on-the-beach Peter when threatened with the difficulties involved in truly following Jesus than the post-breakfast-on-the-beach Peter.

Cassie Bernall, Rachel Scott, and many others in so-called closed countries have died because they loved Jesus more than their own lives. They died because they were willing to confess their faith even when staring down the barrel of a gun, the point of a knife, or the knuckles of a fist. 

Of course Peter wasn’t perfect after this…remember he flagrantly ignored the Lord’s teaching on inclusion when faced with opposition from the Judaizers in Antioch. But the question I want us all to consider today is this: what is keeping us from loving Jesus more than our own lives? What is keeping us from witnessing to his Lordship over our lives? What is keeping us from loving others even as he loves us?

If Jesus were to ask you right now, “Do you love me?” would he have to ask you three times before he got the correct response?”

Shall we pray?

© Johannes W H van der Bijl 2025

Praise Report

Johann and Louise: Training Disciples to Make Disciples in the Netherlands "You people speak as if you believe Jesus is real." Several women that attended our Annual Women's Conference did not know Jesus, but attended because they were invited by their friends who do know Jesus. The area the Lord has called Louise and me to work in is either called the "Red Province" because of its socialist leanings, or it is called the "Black Hole" because of its non-Christian character. Actually I've met quite a few folks that would sooner believe in witches and fairies and spirits than in a benevolent God. Heiloo is north of what is known as the Bible belt of the Netherlands and many of the old church buildings have either been abandoned or have been repurposed to serve as community or cultural centres or restaurants, bars, and breweries.  And yet, the slow and methodical method of friendship evangelism has proved to be the most effective here and that is why we hold annual conferences like this one for women. Our members make friends at work or at the schools their children attend and they invite them to attend a safe, friendly gathering where women can enjoy each other's company and participate in workshops like candle-making, soap-making, how to raise your children and so on, but also experience Christian worship and hear a Christian message. Each participant also received a homemade bag with a Christian book and other goodies in it. One participant told Louise that she had been "rescued" by a local Christian lady and given a home and whatever was necessary to function on her own. She had been homeless before, sleeping on the beach. Although she still has issues she was able to pray with Louise...her first ever prayer! Slow, methodical, effective... We rejoice with the angels for these single victories for the kingdom. And we thank you for making this kind of impact possible. We simply cannot do this work without you. Which leads me to a bit of an urgent request. Our support has slowly been dwindling and our SAMS account has gone down from a steady $30,000 to $17,000 since we moved to the Netherlands. I realise that there are many reasons for this, but nevertheless it does give us cause for concern. Would you please pray with us for more supporters who see the need for missionaries in Europe?  If you know of anyone who has a burden for Europe would you please consider passing on our support information? They can either make contributions payable to SAMS and indicate "Vanderbijl" in the memo line, mail to P.O. Box 399, Ambridge, PA  15003, or then could go directly to our SAMS web page: https://give.samsusa.org/missionary/johann-and-louise-vanderbijl A tax deductible receipt will be sent for income tax purposes.   Rejoice with us and pray with us! The Lord will build his Church! Blessings Johann & Louise van der Bijl Support Us Johann and Louise spent two years helping to develop the St. Frumentius Seminary in Gambella, Ethiopia. They then worked in Southern Africa, serving in seven southern African countries, while continuing to work with the Diocese of Egypt, North Africa through engaging in a disciple making movement in order to grow the body of Christ. They are now serving in Heiloo, the Netherlands. We are sent  through the Society of Anglican Missionaries and Senders, a missionary sending community, engaging in building relationships with the worldwide church to experience the broken restored, the wounded healed, the hungry fed, and the lost found through the love and power of Jesus Christ.  Support SAMS Copyright © 2016 Society of Anglican Missionaries and Senders, All rights reserved. www.sams-usa.org      Our mailing address is: PO Box 399 Ambridge PA 15003 Attention to: Johann and Louise van der Bijl Want to change how you receive these emails? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list

This email was sent to Vanderbijl@gmail.com why did I get this?    unsubscribe from this list    update subscription preferences SAMS-USA · PO Box 399 · Ambridge, PA 15003-0399 · USA

Retracing Our Steps

Psalm 84:1-12                           Luke 5:4-11                        John 21: 1-14

Retracing Our Steps

Have you ever been busy running around doing chores when suddenly you forgot what you were going to do? No matter how hard you tried to remember you simply couldn’t, and eventually you did the only thing that most people find useful in remembering something forgotten…you retraced your steps. Usually returning to the place you first had the thought helps you to remember what you had forgotten. Unless, of course, you really have lost it and, in that case, you might try going to sleep for a while to reboot your mind.

Now, I think this is equally true for things spiritual. All too often the tyranny of the urgent and the pressing demands of the moment, rob us of that which is truly important. We find ourselves on this proverbial never-ending treadmill and before we know it, God and his kingdom are somewhere at the bottom of our priority’s lists. There are many good excuses we can give to justify this type of backsliding and we may even react disproportionately when someone confronts us with the truth or even be offended at those whose lives and words appear to be directed right at us…but, deep down inside, we know that we are not where we ought to be and that either makes us angry or it makes us sad. 

The only way out of this all-too-common predicament, is to retrace our spiritual steps to remind us of what we have forgotten and from where we have fallen. Chapter 21 of John’s Gospel focusses on this restoration process, particularly regarding the restoration of Simon Peter. 

Jesus had told the disciples to go back to Galilee where he would meet with them again (Mark 14:28; 16:7). We are not told why Jesus wanted them to go back to Galilee since he had also told them that they ought to wait in Jerusalem for the outpouring of the promised Holy Spirit, but my guess is that in the process of retracing their steps, Simon Peter and the others would be reminded of where their story with Jesus had begun. 

Do take note of the names listed here. Peter, who had denied Jesus not once but three times (more about that soon); Thomas, who had doubted him and who had demanded sensory evidence of the resurrection; Nathanael, who seems to have so effectively deserted his Lord that he is not mentioned anywhere in the Passion narratives; the sons of Zebedee (or the sons of thunder, as Jesus called them) who were well known for their impatience, their selfish motives, and their desire for important positions; as well as two disciples not mentioned by name. Not a group known for their humility, loyalty, or steadfast perseverance now, are they? 

It is interesting that it is Simon Peter that suggest that they return to the fishing industry. Now, what I’m about to say is speculation on my part, but I do believe that at this point, Peter no longer considered himself a disciple of the Lord. Why do I say that? Well, because the Jews believe that if you repeat something, words or actions, three times whatever you have said or done becomes permanent. Chazakah usually refers to the ownership of property (a piece of land, a parking spot, or a chair), but it can also refer to a statement repeated more than three times. In short it is the halachic status of permanence that is established when an event repeats itself three times without challenge. And, if you remember, Peter had denied being the disciple of Jesus three times. 

So, it is possible that in his mind, he no longer considered himself a disciple. The only option open to him at this point was to return to his previous vocation. Fishing. 

But, if they needed to be reminded of what they had been called to do since meeting Jesus, returning to the place where they had first met him and where they had been challenged to follow him to become fishers of people, would surely help them to remember.

Now, if you have ever read the four Gospels in chronological order you would have realised that what happened in John 21 had happened before. In Luke 5:4-11 we find that the disciples had been fishing all night and caught nothing, but when they obeyed Jesus and let down their nets despite human reason and logic, they caught so many fish that their nets almost broke. Is it pure coincidence that this miracle is repeated in John 21? I don’t think so. If you recall, it was at that moment recorded in Luke 5 that Simon Peter forsook his fishing industry to follow Jesus and become a fisher of people. 

So, now, when after a night of fruitless toil, and after they had obeyed the mysterious stranger on the shore who had told them to cast their nets on the right side of their boat, and after the fish began to multiply, as it were, in their nets, that John had a flashback. Like the disciples in Emmaus who recognised Jesus by what he said in the breaking of the bread at supper, John recognised Jesus by what he did in this miraculous catch of fish…and immediately, he told Peter. “It is the Lord!”

 Peter’s first reaction to this declaration was to cover his naked body and then to plunge into the sea and to swim to shore. It gives one the impression of a person who is both embarrassed and ecstatically happy. Nevertheless, his actions were as immediate as that day when he first surrendered to Jesus.

Interestingly, when he reach land, he noticed a breakfast prepared for them already. Jesus didn’t need what they had to offer…he already had what they needed before they had even lifted a finger. 

But I want you to try to imagine the flood of memories that must have bombarded Peter as he came closer. Not only was he taken back to the time he first fell to his knees at the feet of Jesus with the words, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord”, but he was surely also taken back to that fateful night when he denied his Lord as well. The term "charcoal fire" used here (in Greek, anthrakia) occurs in the New Testament only in two places, both in the gospel of John. 

The first is at the trial of Jesus. John recorded in 18:18, “Now the servants and officers had made a charcoal fire, because it was cold, and they were standing warming themselves. Peter also was with them, standing and warming himself.” It was there, with the smell of the charcoal fire in his nostrils, that Peter heard the rooster crow after having denied being a disciple of Jesus three times. And now here, on the shore of Lake Galilee, he smelled it again.

But then Jesus invited them to bring what they had caught to add to what he had seemingly miraculously provided himself. Peter went back to the boat to help haul in the overloaded nets and John not only tells us that they were large fish, but that there were 153 of them. This number has intrigued many biblical scholars, but none have come to any satisfactory conclusion. Jerome supposed that there were 153 different species of fish indicating that the disciples were to bring in all the nations. Augustine, after some impressive mathematical equations, concluded that the number represented the Law, the Gospels, and the Trinity. Cyril of Alexandria thought that the number 100 represented the Gentiles while the number 50 represented the remnant of Israel, and the number 3 represented the Trinity. Calvin called these attempts to explain the number “childish trifling” …but I’m not so sure. Knowing that John’s used words very carefully when writing his Gospel leads me to believe that there is more to the number then a mere mention of the count, but what that is I have yet to discover.

The fact that the net was not broken again emphasizes that this was a miracle and not a chance event. I think it amazing that God takes care of even the most mundane details when we are obedient to his commands. The mention of the net not being torn or broken may indicate that it had crossed the minds of the fishermen and that they had been worried that this would be the case. Just like when we are worried about the many things that might go wrong if we do what God expects of us. But here we see that God takes care of our proverbial nets and that they will not break while we are doing his bidding.

As they come to eat the breakfast Jesus had prepared for them on the beach, their faith can be seen in that they did not question him. The time of doubt seems to have passed. The light was no doubt not bright enough to clearly reveal much more than the outlines of the face, but although they did not perceive him with their visual senses, they believed him to be their Lord. 

Perhaps the giving of the bread and the fish brought back memories of the feeding of the five and the four thousand and the teaching that had accompanied both miracles. Bread and fish were well known symbols of life as the fish was the only creature to survive the flood without the aid of the Ark, and the word “bread” is used throughout Scripture to describe the basic staple food to sustain life, both in a physical as well as a spiritual sense as Jesus used bread as a symbol of his life given for ours. So, I believe, in the prayer, “give us this day our daily bread”, we are asking for more than physical sustenance…we are asking for a daily spiritual feeding on the living Word as well.

Now, John said that this was the third time Jesus “was revealed” to his disciples, but we know that this was not the third “appearance” of Jesus because Jesus had already appeared to his disciples more than seven times at this point. It could mean that this was the third set of appearances, this being the last before the ascension that took place after they had returned from Galilee to Jerusalem. Of course, the number 3 is a significant number in biblical numerology being the number of the Trinity, two or three witnesses were needed to establish a verdict, and Peter had denied the Lord three times…to name only a few…but once again, we are left without a definite answer as to why John used this number here. 

But the thought I want to leave with you today is the one I started with. Do you perhaps need to retrace your own steps today? Have you perhaps forgotten what your faith in Jesus is all about? Have you perhaps lost the plot? Perhaps got sidelined with thoughts that are not compatible with the humble mind of Jesus? Have the cares of this life choked out the precious seeds of God’s Word? Have you lost your first love?

Think back to the day when you first met Jesus…I mean really met him. When you knew in the depths of your being that he was not only Lord and God but YOUR Lord and YOUR God. Or perhaps you smell the proverbial charcoal fire? 

Maybe, like Peter, you have turned aside from the main call to follow him and to be fishers of people. Is Jesus perhaps standing on the shore of your life calling you back to following him? Will you come back and dine with him once more today? 

Shall we pray?

© Johannes W H van der Bijl 2025.

Ballad of the Faithful Follower

Our dear friend, sister in Jesus, and step-sister-in-law passed into glory today.

Ballad of the Faithful Follower

In memory of Alta Coetzee: one who embodied the Beatitudes

23 August 1961 - 10 May 2025

I walked through the world with my sleeves rolled up high,

With a fire in my heart and a light in my eye,

My hands were the Gospel, my voice was a balm,

And my faith never flinched in the winds of the storm.

I stooped to the lowly, I lifted the weak,

I carried the burdens of broken and meek,

I poured out my soul in the places I trod,

And in loving my neighbour, I honoured my God.

Though pain gripped my body and wearied my frame,

I rose every morning and served just the same.

No crown did I seek, no applause did I crave,

My joy was the love that I tirelessly gave.

But my race is now run, and my labour is done,

I dwell in the glory that shines from the Son.

I sing with the angels in life without end,

Where sorrow is silenced, and sadness is spent.

So, mourn if you must, but don’t dwell in the night,

My tears are all gone in this kingdom of light.

I’m whole now, and radiant, and filled with new breath,

More alive than I ever was, even in death.

I carried you always; I carry you still.

My love is not broken, nor prayers unfulfilled,

For all those in Jesus are never apart,

I’ll be with you always, tucked deep in your heart.

And you, little soul, whom I never could hold,

My prayers wrapped your cradle with blessings untold.

Walk gently with Jesus, and one day in time,

We’ll meet in the garden where life is sublime.

©️ Johannes W H van der Bijl 10 May 2025.

Let Me Live My Faith

Let Me Live My Faith

Maker of morning and marrow and mind,

Fount of all forming, of favour designed,

I fall into awe at the gift of your gaze,

You wove me together to awaken your praise.

You stirred up my soul with the breath of your being,

Lit reason and conscience and hunger for seeing,

You drew me with dreams of a joy beyond measure,

A thirst for your truth and your wonderful treasure.

I laud you, my Light, for the gospel’s revealing,

For peace in your purpose, for patience in healing,

For mercy that moves from the depths of your heart,

For hope that ignites in the cold and the dark.

You’ve taught my frayed conscience the wonder of grace,

That the vile may be pardoned, the lost find a place,

That the sinful be sanctified, poor made to sing,

Transformed by the blood of a crucified King.

So let me be numbered with doers, not dreamers,

With walkers and worshipers, lovers and leaners

On every sure word you have spoken and sealed,

Who rejoice in your presence through mercy revealed.

Keep kindled my craving for present salvation,

For Spirit-sent joy and the grace of my station,

For holiness hewn in the hearth of your fire,

For delight in my duties, not worldly desire.

To prize what is plain, and with purity burn,

Love truth without tarnish, and evermore yearn

To be what I am in the sight of all eyes,

Yet truer before you, where nothing can hide.

To live out my faith before I declare it,

Cast off the cloak of the world and not wear it,

To turn from its lies and its lures and its guise,

Before I draw near where your holiness lies.

Make me, O Maker, both giver and guest,

A bearer of blessings, a bringer of rest,

One ready to rise when the darkness draws near,

To fight without faltering, to love without fear.

O God, by your calling, make worthy my days,

That Jesus be glorified deep in my praise,

And I in his name be forever made new,

One note in the song that is rising to you.

© Johannes W H van der Bijl 2025.

That You May Believe

Psalm 23                         1 Peter 2:19-25                    John 20:24-31

That You May Believe

Trust me. Two words so easily spoken and yet so seldomly obeyed. But this problem with trust is not a product of the enlightenment or the age of reason or science…it is a problem as old as sin itself. 

When the serpent approached Eve, he sowed a subtle seed of doubt in her mind that has continued to bear bad fruit ever since. “Did God actually say…?” In many ways, this question is the foundation of every temptation as it opens the door to doubt and doubt, when allowed to fester, gives birth to a lack of trust in the Word of God.

When Jesus repeatedly warned the disciples of the upheaval about to engulf them during that Passover, they were distracted by the many things they wanted to believe about him and his kingdom rather than what he was trying to teach them. Remember those discussions about who was to be the greatest and who would sit on his left and right hands when he was enthroned as King? 

But once his predictions became their reality, their lives fell apart. Why? Because he hadn’t taught them properly? Because he hadn’t told them the truth? Because he hadn’t prepared them well in advance? No. It is because they doubted his words. Remember, Peter even went so far as to rebuke Jesus! They did not trust him enough to believe him and when push came to shove, their little house of cards came tumbling down. 

But shame upon shame, when his further predictions regarding the resurrection also were fulfilled, they still doubted! They doubted the report of the women, were sceptical about the report of the disciples on the road to Emmaus and perhaps even Peter’s report, and Thomas doubted them all. Remember that even when Jesus stood before them, he had to show them his wounds to prove that he was not a ghost! So, even though we love to single out Thomas as the doubter, all the followers of Jesus struggled with trust at some or other point…and, if we are honest, so do we.

Thomas had not been present at the gathering on the night when Jesus first appeared to the group of disciples. We are not told where he was at the time, but we can assume, given his attitude, that any post-crucifixion meeting may have seemed pointless and meaningless to him. I’m sure we have all done something similar before…sulking in a dark corner of our hearts when things do not go our way seems to be quite common…and consequently, like Thomas, we also often miss out on a blessing because we were too busy licking our wounds or feasting at the table of self-pity rather than being present for the sake of others who might be equally disappointed or grieved. 

Now, this is not the first time we meet Thomas in this Gospel. In chapter 11:16 John recorded that he was ready to die with Jesus as they planned to return to Bethany. Then in chapter 14:5, he revealed a keen and probing mind when he asked for clarity concerning the location of the “way” in which they were to follow Jesus. 

But, it seems, the crucifixion was a bridge too far for him and with the death of Jesus, Thomas buckled. Sadly, he resorted to an attitude condemned by Jesus in chapter 4:48: “Unless you see signs and wonders,” Jesus said to the official from Capernaum, “you will not believe.” The signs and wonders movements throughout history has always commanded great followings until adversity invariably separates the committed from the uncommitted. The ecstatic can only satisfy as long as the last experience is equalled or surpassed by the next experience. Remove the adrenaline and the excitement and the shallow devotion is sure to wane. And we’ve all heard it said in one way or another: “I tried Christianity, but it didn’t work for me.”

However, I don’t think that the doubting of Thomas is the central issue of this passage because he simply reflects the general scepticism of the greater group. I think that it is his unreasonable demand to believe by means of his senses that is the central issue. “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails,” he said, “and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” In other words, Thomas neither trusted in the prophetic words of Jesus nor in the words of his fellow disciples. In short, Thomas succumbed to the “seeing is believing” idea…trusting in what can be seen, touched, experienced…trusting in so-called empirical evidence…measurements or data collected through direct observation or experimentation.

But when it comes to God, this is a completely ridiculous notion. Any god that we can figure out using only our finite senses isn’t worth believing in. As Solomon wisely encourages us to do: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5) Our senses are limited…not only by our finite knowledge and resources, but also by our sin and brokenness. Besides, how arrogant to insist that God should satisfy our pride by bowing to our sensory perception. 

But I think the point of this passage is not to shame Thomas or those like him. No, I think the point is that the Lord of all creation heard the words of his beloved child and graciously came to help him overcome his unbelief. Eight days after he had appeared to his other followers…which would then bring us to another gathering on the Lord’s Day if we use the Jewish way of reckoning days, counting the first and the last…Jesus again appeared the same way he did before and offered them the same blessed greeting of peace. Let me stress again the profound impact this ordinary Hebrew greeting must have had on this particular group…complete and absolute peace to all those who had deserted him, denied him, and doubted him. If ever there was a comforting word for us it is this: Peace be with you. Despite our ignorance, our arrogance, our bumbling and stumbling, our weakness and our faults…peace be with you.

But surely the greatest display of divine humility and amazing grace is seen clearly the moment Jesus addressed his doubting disciple. “Put your finger here and see my hands; and put out your hand and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve but believe.” What grace! What mercy! The Lord humbly condescended to help his fallen child to his feet. Wonder of wonders…he conceded to the unreasonable faithless demands of his doubting disciple so that he might restore him. And yet, incredibly, it seems that his faith that had appeared to have been smothered by his own unbelief and his finite limitations, was not completely extinguished. I believe this is because faith does not find its origin within us. Faith is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8-9; see also 2 Peter 1:1; Philippians 1:29; Acts 3:16) and, as such, only he can give it and only he can strengthen it.

True, faith can be suppressed by sin. The clearest example I can think of in Scripture is King David when he committed adultery with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba. For a while, this man whom God himself calls “friend of God” blocked out any form of conscience by stubbornly justifying his lawless acts. By his own testimony, this only brought misery, but the sin of lust was so overwhelmingly powerful and blinding that he was able to overlook even that. But by God’s mercy and grace, David’s eyes were opened through the divinely directed word of the prophet Nathan, and he repented of his sin.

Thomas, like David, also repented in shame, yet also only after being confronted, not by a divinely directed word, but by the Divine Word himself. 

Now, it is interesting to note the words used by Thomas in his short statement of faith. For pious Jews, the title “Lord” was usually used when referring to God. It is a sign of respect and of reverence for God and indicates a willing surrender to his will as sovereign. But Thomas adds the word “God” to indicate that he realised that the Person standing before him was not just a good man or a prophet. Thomas knew that Jesus was truly and completely God. 

However, Jesus did not simply dismiss Thomas’ faithlessness. Although our God is forgiving and gracious and merciful and compassionate and unbelievably kind, he is also a holy God who wants his people to live according to his will as revealed in Holy Scripture. The demands made by Thomas are inconsistent with the nature of faith and trust and Jesus told him so. “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” 

Thomas’ faith was restored but note that it was not by touching and seeing, but by an awakening of that which had been implanted in him before though his encounter with the living Word. I am thankful that the Lord does not give up on me or any one of his children, even when we give him every reason to back away…because he knows that faith is not something I can gain or grow through the mere experience of things or events. Faith is birthed and nurtured in a living relationship with the living Word. “Faith comes by hearing,” Paul wrote in Romans 10:17, “and hearing by the Word of God.” It is the Scripture that awakens or reawakens the divinely implanted seed of faith. So then, if we do not base our lives on God’s Word, how then can we ever claim to have faith?

It is a sad day when God’s Word is something foreign in the Church. Once Scripture is sidelined in the Church, anyone in the Church can be led astray without ever knowing any better. How can we say we have faith if we only live by our senses? Faith in God transcends our understanding and demands a trust in him not in anything or anyone else.

Hebrews 11:1 says that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is not against reason or logic…it is most reasonable and logical…but it is not based on our finite reasoning or logic. We are limited and therefore our unaided reason and logic may be flawed. That is why faith may at times demand that we go against the tide…that we swim upstream against the flow of culture or society.

In short, there is no true faith that is not founded and established on God’s Word. The eye of faith is such that, although we do not see him, we believe him. We believe him rather than our circumstances…rather than our senses. As Peter wrote in his first Epistle 1:8, “Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled.”

What made these men, women, and children love someone they had never seen enough to lay down their lives for him? It was faith. Indeed, Christians have been martyred through the centuries in some of the most horrific ways imaginable for their faith…a faith that was possible because God had given them the ability to believe beyond or despite their senses.

John ended this chapter by referring to many other signs Jesus did which were not recorded in his Gospel. However, he said, those that were included are sufficient for our faith. We need no more special revelation. We agree with the testimony of Scripture as we believe that it was inspired by God himself. As Paul wrote to Timothy in his second epistle 3:16-17: “All Scripture is breathed out by God (or inspired by God) and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” John’s purpose for writing what he had written was so that we who read the Gospel may believe.

When any other object, symbol, sign, or ideology or whatever takes centre stage, the downward spiral begins. The biblical norm is then inverted. Humanity take the place of God and human reason replaces divine revelation.

Trust. Believe. Have faith. Thomas had doubted the Lord’s Word and the witness of his colleagues…and even though Jesus restored his faith, he indicated that his wish was rather that Thomas had trusted him…had believed him…had had faith in him.

Of course, it is easy to trust when the going is good, but when life takes us down a darkened alleyway where the way out is not visible, that is when our faith is tested for what it’s worth. We may fail from time to time, not because we aren’t strong enough, but perhaps because we are trying to be too strong. Remember Jesus said that our faith ought to mirror the trust of little children. Simply believing what he says is the best way forward…after all, have you ever been able to prove him wrong?

When my mother was a young girl, she scribbled down a few words in her “Prayer Book for Boys and Girls”…words that she never seemed to have recovered until shortly before her death. This is what she wrote:

“Lord, have mercy upon me a sinner.

I am still a weak beginner.

Please dear God make me strong,

So that I will do no wrong.”

I would like to conclude with a prayer from that Prayer Book for Boys and Girls in which these words were pencilled.

Let us pray:

“Lord be my Shepherd, and then I shall not want for anything.

Feed me in a green field and lead me beside the comforting streams.

Turn me the way you want me to go, into the right path.

Then if I do have to walk in the dark valley, I won’t be afraid,

Because you are with me. Your rod and your staff comfort me.

Prepare my food and rest in difficult times,

Give me your healing and put your kind cup before me.

Oh surely, I shall find your loving kindness and forgiveness always ahead of me,

And my Lord’s house for my rest always.”

Amen.

© Johannes W H van der Bijl 2025.