Entry Fifty-Five:
I have stopped dreaming dreams…dreams are wonderful things, but they are not reality. And dreaming too many dreams tend to leave me discouraged and disappointed. I can dream whatever I choose, but dreams are like mist in the sun…they fade without providing anything material to the dreamer. I have learned this indirectly from Elizabeth, Levi, Simeon, John…and the others…they are real, tangible. While dreams did provide some comfort in the days following Benjamin’s disappearance, they now provide nothing but the realization that they are dreams. Better to embrace what is real than to waste my time on what is not and what may never be.
Now, I spend my time building relationships with my new friends…and rebuilding my relationship with my brother-in-law and his family…Daniel and his sweet, gentle wife, Esther…their daughters, Rachel and Rebekah. Together, we all help Levi and his family develop marketable skills, and we assist them in promoting their wares. We wonder at those who refuse to buy from them…do they not know that they cannot be defiled by helping those who cannot help themselves? Epecially since they are the main cause of their downward spiral into poverty.
So, I have exchanged my dreams for actual physical things. But this does not mean I have lost hope…to the contrary. I still watch the road every day, in anticipation for that moment when Benjamin finally sees the error of his ways and returns to a family ready to receive him with open arms and open hearts. Unlike dreams, hope is founded upon the reality that nothing is too hard for the Lord. He who opened Sarah’s barren and withered womb. He who made the heavens and the earth. He who gathered his people from wherever he scattered them and brought them back to their own homeland. With him, all things are possible. Hope will never be disappointed as long as it is focused on the heart of God.
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