A Solemn Song for my Brother

There we scattered your cremains

By the small wooden bridge over the Molweni River 

A peaceful resting place for one whose life was mostly an unhappy one

A storm-tossed and turbulent existence

Even from tender childhood

A sad battle between those who should have cared the most

Swords drawn and thrusted

You the major casualty

Bleeding and unattended

Battered by unkind words and gestures

You sought for love and found none until

One who loved you the best came

And robbed you of your loneliness

Giving and expecting nothing but companionship in return

He gifted you the acceptance that bathed your wounds

 

A brilliant mind and creative spirit

Unappreciated and unrewarded

Torn and twisted in the storms

Of family disfunction

Of single-sided friendships

You lost all you had once gained

So many took the blank page you gave

Only to crumple and crush it once they had written their piece in blood

Your blood

You gave they took

You asked they refused

Had he not come and cradled you

Your rejection would have been complete

Your death would have gone unnoticed 

Save for those who would dispose of what remained

But you died cared for loved and mourned

 

We owe him who asks for nothing everything

While you are scattered in the babbling water

He is buried in our hearts

Could one ask for better

A brother lost a brother found

His love for you our love for him

We touch once more through him

He loves as he is loved

The light of Christ illuminated him

Illuminated you

Illuminated us

A sacrificial love from Lamb though lamb

And so we scatter as we reap

 

Now at last you find a secure resting place

In everlasting arms that will never abandon you

You bask in the warmth of a love unbounded

You sink into the acceptance so long denied

And find yourself reconciled 

To one who was there all along

Who held you close in your deepest darkness

Who captured each tear you shed in despair

Who embraced you in your terror of desertion

Who pieced you together after each devastation

Who gave you more than the life you relinquished at your departure

So rest in Him now my beloved brother

My tears shed for you are selfish

I would not wish you to return from the bosom you now lie in.

 

Joseph Eldon Swallow: December 2, 1945 – October 12, 2020