Day Eleven:
I woke, reluctantly, at noon. Earlier, I thought I heard Aaron instructing the servants to leave me be. But I also heard him say that as soon as I stirred, they ought to clean my room as it stank like a Roman latrine. Did he add that I stank as well? Why is he so unkind…now, when I really need him more than ever before?
I stirred…and the servants filled my room.
Elizabeth found Benjamin’s robe and wanted to wash it. I begged her to leave it hidden. What is happening to me? Never before have I begged anyone for anything…but I have no strength to think about how pathetic I must seem to others.
They cleaned my room…my floor…my bed things…my soiled clothes. I could hardly wait for them to leave. I wanted to escape into the happier world of my dreams.
No, I did not want anything to eat…but for Elizabeth’s sake I nibbled at a dry crust of bread. It is hard to swallow. Her words are few, but her eyes tell me she understands…and cares. She is never far from me…I have caught her standing in the shadows waiting…waiting for me to give her any indication of need. I will not forget her kindness.
I sleep on…
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