Day Twenty-Four: Psalm 103:1-12
Not the owner…a farm manager…but still a Gentile. He was respectful and did not approach me or attempt to embrace me as is the custom. Nor did he attempt to stop me from speaking about Benjamin. He seemed to welcome the conversation. But alas, he tells me that Herod is thinking of gifting this land to a Roman General by the name of Mark Anthony. This will only serve to exacerbate the hatred felt towards Benjamin. The gossips have it that Mark Anthony courts the unfaithful Egyptian queen, Cleopatra. I never thought that things could get worse…but I must leave the future where it is…to drag what may never happen into the present would be a grave mistake for me at this point.
I spent the rest of the day in Benjamin’s rooms…touching his few remaining possessions. Aaron wanted to burn it all, but I said no. He cites verses in the law about the uncleanness of objects handled by the unclean…but we both know that he quotes these laws out of context. Besides, is it for us to make an error of judgement a permanent stain on the soul of another human being? Is there no forgiveness with our God? Surely God does not deal with us according to our errors…His mercy is higher than the highest heavens…if God removes our sins from us as far as the east is from the west, then who are we to chain down the sins of others?
The fragrance of my son yet clings to his belongings. I bury my face in his robe when I sleep at night. It helps me to raise him in my dreams. I wonder if Jacob kept his son’s many coloured robe…even though it was covered in goat’s blood.[i] Did it serve as a touchable reminder of a happiness that once was his? He vowed to go to his grave mourning his son…and yet Joseph was still alive…and they were reunited many years later. Perhaps God will be merciful and grant me the same reunion. Ah, perhaps this thought was a sign from Him…?
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