No!

NO!

When I was a child

I dreamed of being someone

Someone other than I was

Greater than I was

Someone worthy of love and respect

As a child

I lived each day as it came

Dreaming

Scheming

Without fear of being no-one

But then as time went by

The dream began to sour

In my teens

The dream became a nightmare

And there was a shift in my thinking

Fear became my daily companion

I would never be anyone

Other, greater, worthy

Living, I became nothing

A cruel reality mocked me

I was nothing more than mediocre

And yet

From the dungeons deep within me

Came a voice that cried out, “No!”

But today

Life still delivers nothing

Nothing but empty dreams

Broken plots and plans

That endless cycle 

Of wake, eat, work, sleep

Pointless

Senseless

With not enough sense 

To stop and ask why

So many all around me

Began their lives with hope

Hope that some day

They would find that corner

And a new vista would appear

But that was denied

Not for lack of trying

They died without having touched 

Something

Anything

Still the voice cries out, “No!”

There must be more 

More to life than living

Breathing

Moving

To simply exist

From day to day

Night to night

Content with the average

Is far removed 

From my childhood dreams

But one by one

The days go by

And nothing changes

It is said that hope does not fail

But hope unfulfilled

Makes the heart sick

And dead

But still the voice cries out, “No!”

Is death the goal of life?

Release

Relief

And then oblivion?

Or is one condemned

To relive mediocrity

For eternity

Or

As one beholds the beatific vision

Are missed opportunities revealed?

The corners one walked by

The dark alleys

That may have led to light

Now gone forever

No recompense for striving

Yearning

Longing

Waiting

No reward

No well done

No rest

Still the voice cries out, “No!”