Entry Thirty: Psalm 14:2-3
“And what if he returns? What will you do then? He will never be welcome here…never! My brother is dead! We have mourned him dead! He is dead to me. He is dead to our community. He is dead! Dead, I tell you!” The words of Aaron…shouting at me as we sat at the table last evening. The dried date stuck in my throat…I could not swallow.
What if he returns? What will I do? This is still my home…my son is still my son…I am who I am. What has changed? Nothing. Nothing, other than Benjamin’s absence. Is it not strange that even though he has been mourned as dead, he lives on in their resentment…in their hatred? If Benjamin must live on in our memories, why not keep a less angry image…surely a negative image will continue to distress them and result in a bitterness of the soul.
But it is a question I must consider. What will I do? What will I do if I see him walking back down the road? I search my heart. I find a place where his memory is lovingly embraced. If he returns, will his return not produce life? When I come to the Temple in Jerusalem to offer my sacrifice for atonement…my sacrifice for sin…will God not accept me?
Benjamin is a sinner. But then, so am I. So is Aaron. When God looks down from heaven and looks into our hearts, does he not see fault in every one born of woman? Does the Psalmist not say that there is no one that does good? Not even one? Is it possible for one man to be more righteous than another, when we all stand on the same ground before God’s holiness? What separates us is not our goodness, but His mercy and grace. This is what Aaron and others like him do not understand. We are equally guilty…we are equally dead in our trespasses and sins. Not one of us can condemn another. That is God’s prerogative alone…and God accepts us each time we return to Him. What kind of a parent would I be if I do not do the same?
It was good to see you on Zoom today. God bless your work!
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