Entry Thirty-nine: Lamentations 3:22-23
Am I Eli? I cannot escape the question…I cannot avoid it. It must be answered. I think back on the many times I should have corrected Benjamin but chose not to. But, in my defence, it was because of his youthful ignorance at the time…I chose to overlook his behaviour because of his age…he would not understand. Yes, also because he did not have Miriam. He only had me. But was I not being merciful? I want only the best for him…for both of them. In that respect, I love them equally. While my blessing for them is different, it is not less for one and more for the other.
Am I Eli? No, I conclude. If I am to be compared with any one of those we read about in the holy Scriptures, it is Isaac. He also had two sons…one left the other stayed…but in the end, which one remained? Jacob, the supplanter returned…Esau never left, but who wounded the father more? Who became our father, Israel? Not Esau…
“A son honours his father and a servant honours his master. If I am a father, where is my honour?” The words of our Lord to his people recorded by the prophet Malachi. Aaron says all the right things…does all the right things…but his heart is far from me. Surely, we all are preserved because our Lord is merciful…that is why we are not consumed for our misdeeds and transgressions. Because His compassion never fails. Every morning his compassion is renewed…every morning His faithfulness keeps growing. We cannot live out the truth of the law without love…that would be an empty life and an empty law…and, ultimately, an empty God. If God is not merciful, then why does the sun rise and set each day? Our continued existence on this earth testifies to His mercy, His grace, and His forgiveness.
If Aaron, his rabbi, and our community represent the God of Israel, then we of all people are to be pitied the most. Then our God is an emotionless tyrant.
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